Sunday, October 11, 2009

The Day I Became a Heart Mother

A friend and fellow heart mom sent me this poem. I had saved it on my computer to post at some point in the future, but then I stumbled upon it again on another CHD baby's blog so I decided to share...
The Day I Became A Heart Mother One day my world came crashing down, I'll never be the same. They told me that my child was sick. I thought "am I to blame?"
I don't think I can handle this. I am really not that strong. It seemed my heart was breaking. I have loved her for so long.
I will not give up on this child. I will listen to your advice. I will give my child any chance. No matter what the price.
I will learn all that I need to help my child thrive. I'll even use that feeding tube. My child must survive!
Will she need a lot of therapy? Will she gain the needed weight? Please God, help me do this. I will accept our fate.
When the monitors beep at night, it serves as my reminder. How many parents would love that sound. Tomorrow I will be kinder.
As another Angel earns his wings, I run to my child's bed. I watch her sleep for quite a while. I bend down and kiss her head.
I cry for the parents whose hearts have been broken. I look to You wondering why? Oh Lord, I just can't know your matter how I try.
And yet, I trust you hold her life, and guide us through each day. My mind says savor each moment she's here, but my heart begs, "PLEASE let her stay!"
From pacing the surgical waiting room, to sitting by her bed. From wishing for a good nights sleep, to learning every med.
From wondering, "will she be alright?", to watching her reach out her hands. With every smile my heart just melts, despite life's harsh demands.
For all who see that faded line. I look to them and smile. You see my child is loved so much. I would face ANY trial.
That scar I trace with my finger (It's the door to her beautiful heart). God must have known how much I'd love her (Just as He loved her from the start).
A heart mom is always a heart mom. Now wise beyond her years. For those who have angels in heaven, Our hearts share in all of your tears.
Every day I will try and remember, I was chosen for her (and no other). I will always embrace that beautiful day.......When I became a "Heart Mother".
Author Unknown


Grma Anna said...

This beautiful author and you have very similar lives. This poem really touched my heart to re-live the anxious moments at the hospital, but to hold onto those wonderful moments as well. God has truly blessed you as well as this mother, the author. All praise be to God, our Creator.
G'ma Anna

Bliss said...

Please don't think I'm some weirdo, because I know you don't know me. In fact I'm really not quite sure how I even came across your blog,but when I did I was amazed and fascinated! You see I have repaired Tetralogy of fallot! ( you would think I could spell that right by now, but I'm pretty sure I didn't!) Anyway, I cried and cried when I saw this post! I had to send that poem to my "heart Mother"! She cried as well! I will pray for you and your sweet Elle, and if you don't mind I'd like to come back here and check on her! Many blessings to you and yours!